So I'd like to share with you an experience that proved to be a turning point.
During the course of my research, I came across a fascinating article. I no longer remember where I read it. But it was an account by a man who decided to do a little thought experiment.
For six weeks he decided to think only the most negative thoughts about his wife. He constantly thought about her in the most negative light. As the days passed, she became increasingly unhinged, until she was sure that he wanted a divorce.
I didn't want to be negative. So I decided to do an experiment thinking only good things about someone, and seeing if I could notice an effect. I picked someone I hardly knew, a cashier in the Korean grocery store where I often shopped. We hardly even acknowledged each other except to say a polite "hello."
Ever since, I have made thinking good thoughts a discipline.